Review

Two months of 2008 gone. It hardly seems possible. Life seems to be going so much faster than when I was a kid. I remember when summer lasted forever (with four kids home, it still kind of does), the school year was way too long (not anymore, I guarantee it), and a month, a week, a day had a life of it's own.

I thought I should take a little bit of time and see when my New Year's Resolutions left me.

1. Lose 10 lbs. - this one hasn't actually left me yet. I didn't really start until the end of January in the first place, and I've lost about 4 lbs, but more importantly, I've started getting in shape. In fact, I'm going to be doing a 38 mile bike ride with a couple of friends and family members the first weekend of June!

2. Read Les Miserables - I've only read about 550 pages, but I've read more than 30 other books. This goal really is still on target. Hmmm. Maybe it's ahead of target. I always was an over-achiever.

3. Compose a new piece/song every week - I've done it! They are not all good, but that wasn't the goal. The goal was to get the creative juices flowing, and it's working. However, I still have a lot of year left to go and I refuse to stop now.

4. Blog, one way or another, every single day - duh!


5. Read the entrie Chronicles of Narnia. I finished 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' on Thursday. That means I only have two books left until I'm done. I guess I'm ahead of the game on this resolution as well.

I guess this means my resolutions haven't left me at all. This must be a good year, because I know for a fact that this is not always the case. Maybe taking the time to review my goals, revise them if necessary, and renewing my determination is how I'm going to accomplish these things. That's a good way to accomplish anything.

Ouch!

No pain, no gain. Right? Well, there has been a huge amount of gain around my house the last couple of days, and I'm not talking about weight.

It all began a couple of days ago with Sarah's grades. Sarah is a really smart kid, but we have recently (recently? HA!) discovered that she is lazy as the day is long. Unless, of course, it's something that she wants to do, like ballet or email. I, being an on-the-ball parent, at least that particular day, decided to check her grades online. What do I see? A "C"! She got a "C" in coat hanger sculpture! How does one get a "C" in coat hanger sculpture? Just kidding. But she did get a "C" in English. And she did get in trouble for it. She was told that she had to bring that grade up, with extra credit or the like, by Thursday or she would have to drop out of Swan Lake. There was a lot of to-do around the house that day about Sarah's grades. What I didn't count on was the boys hearing all of it, and actually taking it to heart.

Benjamin said the family prayer that night, which is always interesting, but this was a particularly unusual prayer. He prayed that Sarah might be able to get her grades up, and that he and Josh "won't be a bad as Sarah". David and I really tried to smother our laughter, and nearly succeeded. Sadly, Sarah didn't take it in the way it was intended, the boys don't want bad grades, but rather as Benjamin saying, in a prayer no less, Sarah is stupid. The next half hour was kind of rough around here. Hurt feelings had to be assuaged, statements had to be explained, rules had to be enforced.

I've been training for my very long bike ride in June. Not ever having done anything like this before, I wasn't sure how to go about it, but I came up with a plan that seemed like it would work. I ride my stationary bike four days a week. Three days I would ride for only 30 minutes, but I would gradually increase the tension. The fourth day I would turn the tension back down, but would gradually increase the length of time I rode. Good plan, right?

Monday was the first day I actually raised the tension. Augh! I raised it too far! And I realized this about 6 minutes into my ride. I pushed through until the 15 minute mark and then I turned it back down a bit. I was okay. I thought, "This is going to work."

Wednesday was my second day on increased tension. I didn't increase the tension nearly as much as I had on Monday. About 2 minutes into my ride I realized my mistake. I had forgotten to take into account that I have been going to dance rehearsals at night. I'll ride in the morning, but my body has not had a break, because I'm in rehearsal mode! AUGH!!! I hollered out for David, "I need some encouragement!" and being the great husband he is, he didn't ask why, he just immediately started yelling back at me things like, "You're doing great! You're going to make it! Hang in there!"

About 15 minutes into my ride I realized that I had to do something to get my emotional energy up, so I turned on my ipod and started singing with it. Footloose was great, Shot Through the Heart was okay, We are the Champions was wretchedly funny. But I made it.



I made bread yesterday. This is not an unusual or difficult experience for me, except I ran out of flour. How does one go about making bread when there isn't enough flour? Well, I scraped together every bit of any kind of grain I had in my pantry: soy flour, corn meal, oatmeal. I threw some in straight, I put some through the blender first. I kneaded as best I could, and then I let is raise. This is the ugliest bread I've ever made...but it tastes good! The pain didn't come until I touched my knuckle on the oven door when I was pulling the bread out. It was hard to play piano after that.



Rehearsal last night caused me physical pain in places I forgot I owned. And the running? We have 8 counts to completely circle the stage. And then we have 4 counts to completely circle the stage. And then we have 4 counts to get up the stairs. And then we have 8 counts to get down the stairs. And then we have to do a kick line. And all the while we are supposed to be singing 5 million part harmony and making it sound good. And did I mention the back bend?

Being that I am me, none of this really bothered me. (yeah, right!) What really bothered me was that I totally messed up one of the rhythms. Just one. And I'll get the chance to fix it tomorrow. But my pride is wounded. I'm sure it's good for me, after all, I do need some humbling (no comments about that, please!), and it's not as if I was the only person who messed up anywhere last night. Did I mention the back bend? I just hate messing up music.



What have I hurt in the last couple days? My knee, my thighs, my calves, my back, my head, my finger, my heart, my pride...my daughter. No pain, no gain. Right? Well, the huge gains around my house this week definitely came at a cost. Still, I have to believe when we come through it, we'll all be better off. (Sarah's grade is already coming up!)

Lessons

Here is what I learned in lessons yesterday:

I've got to be where my spirit can run free...

There's always one more stone before the night...

Will kith not kill their kin for me...

I'd be contented to be anywhere, what do I care? As long as you are there...

Everything's going my way...

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game...

I know every mile will be worth my while...

At the end of the storm is a golden sky...

So I'll kiss him morning and night...

Behold and believe what you see...

When you where a tender and callow fellow...

And the future of the world inside of me...

Music has some of the greatest lessons! Can you guess the songs?!!!

Rehearsal

I had forgotten how much I love rehearsal.

Sitting and listening to the director.

Sitting and listening to the music director.

Sitting and listening to the choreographer.

Sitting and listening to the production assistant.

and then...

Waiting my turn to dance.

Waiting my turn to sing.

Waiting my turn to act.

and then...

Dancing!!!

Singing!!!

Acting!!!

At least I remembered to bring a book.

Just Because

I was told Harry Connick, Jr. is great, but that Hugh Jackman is better. In response to that I would like to say...



Everyone is allowed their own opinion. For me, it depends on the day.



Enjoy this link!!!

Lounge Lizard

Yesterday was the Taylorsville Arts Council Annual Art Show. Wow! That is a mouthful! Anyway, we, as a council, decided to add something new to our art show this year: background music. The council chambers, where we hold the show, has a baby grand piano that hardly ever gets played. It seemed like a good idea. There was only one problem, I ended playing for half the time.

Susan arranged for a piano teacher she knows to bring her students for a mini-recital, and they took the first two hours. Ten kids, two hours, that's not a lot. That left two hours to be filled. I took Sarah with me and had her play for about 30 minutes. She did well considering all the advance notice she got was me telling her on the way to ballet rehearsal that morning, and reminding her on the way home (we left 10 minutes after we got home).

That left me 90 minutes to fill by myself. So, I started playing. I played everything I had and then I started repeating stuff, taking requests (minimally), singing along, and improvising in general. And this is what I learned:

I know why lounge lizards improvise and jazz things up (I certainly did): If they don't, they are bored out of their wits!

Fives

A while ago (probably in January), Kate tagged me with "Five Things". I had just barely finished "Three Things," and not too long before that I had done "Four Things" and "Ten Recommendations," so I waited to tackle the "Five Things" because I couldn't think of anything at the moment and I just wasn't prepared to do another list. I think I'm ready now, and if not, well, to bad!

Five books I've read this week:

1. Blue Bloods
2. Wicked Lovely
3. Masquerade
4. Dragon Harper
5. Les Miserables (I'm more than 400 pages in!)
   

Five meals I've cooked recently:

1. Enchilada casserole
2. Pork chops with wild rice and gravy
3. Pasta Fagioli
4. Spaghetti
5. Shepherd's Pie
   

Five musicals that have significantly impacted the way I think (not in any particular order):

1. Singing in the Rain
2. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
3. Man of la Mancha
4. Les Miserables
5. West Side Story
   

Five Things I loved about the 80's

1. Cute shoes
2. Oversized sweaters
3. Wave music
4. Footloose
5. Sitcoms

A memorable story from when I was five:

I was in kindergarten (of course) and it was a cold and rainy day. But, being stubborn even then, I didn't want to wear a coat or a jacket, I wanted to wear my shawl. It was crocheted, made with pastel variegated yarn, with a white fringe around the edges (I could be making this part up, but it seems so real!) If you really want a good visual, think 1975, made by my mother (good quality), and a little like a grandma shawl.

I got to school, and yes, I was cold. After all, it was a cold and rainy day. Being the resourceful young lady that I was, I went inside. Inside is bound to be warmer and dryer than outside. Unfortunately, we weren't supposed to be inside yet, and when my teacher, Ms. Nickles, pointed that out to me, I was very embarrassed. In fact, I couldn't look at her for what seems like a month. In retrospect, I'm sure it wasn't that long, but even a couple of hours is eternity to a five year old.

The only "Five" quote I can think of this morning (extra gold star if you know where it comes from):

"How are you?"
"Five by five."

towers and piles

We've been tending Devon and Corbin this week while Seth and Danna have had rehearsals, performances, and massages. It's always a hoot to add two kids to the brood, and these two fit in really well.

I've added a couple of short videos that give a glimpse into the chaos that has become our world for a bit.

Snow...again

I cannot believe how tired I am of the snow.

When I woke up this morning and saw that it had snowed, yet again, I nearly cried. Yesterday there were patches of grass showing through. Sure they were brown, but at least they weren't white. And now...all white again.

Even as I type it's snowing still.

I realize that because we live in a desert, every bit of moisture that we receive should be considered a blessing. And I am grateful for the water. This much snow means I'll be able to water my lawn this summer without feeling guilty. It means I'll have a great garden (as long as I weed it). It means that all the new growth in the valley, particularly out by the Oquirrhs, won't be a huge drain on our already limited water supply. At least not yet.

I'm just so tired of being cold all the time.

If my mother called me up today and said, "Let's go to Hawaii! Our flight leaves tomorrow!" I would go. I would call all my lessons for the next week and cancel or reschedule. I would find a substitute for my Hale Centre Theatre class. I would ask one of the sisters in the ward to teach my Sunday School lesson. I would...crap! I can't miss a week of rehearsal. Not when I worked so hard to get in the show in the first place.

I guess I have to live with it.

Really no choice there at all. I don't control the weather. Even if I could arrange my schedule to go to Hawaii, the financial end of it doesn't look too promising. Besides, I think my kids would freak out if I left them here in the cold and snow and sent them postcards from the sunshine. (It is the rainy season...maybe they wouldn't freak out nearly as much.)

But I draw the line at shoveling the walks.

I know I was dreaming of a White Christmas (Hooray for Irving Berlin!) but this has gotten ridiculous. Who ever heard of dreaming of a white Valentine's Day? Or a white Presidents' Day? Or a white St. Patrick's Day? (Please! No!)

I cling to the hope that this will end.

The sun will shine, the grass will turn green. I don't remember if I got my bulbs planted, but I may, or may not, have tulips and crocuses. My mom will for sure. That might be good enough. There is a time and season for everything. Right now, it's winter. Possibly soon enough (to save my sanity) it will be spring.

I'm really looking forward to that.

Twilight

Yes, I found this picture on someone else's blog...Kate's sister...but I know that some of you don't read all the cool blogs that I do, but still LOVE "Twilight". Besides...GORGEOUS!!!

There is also a link to "Twilight" that I'm going to be heading over to and checking out right now. Enjoy!

P.S. Madison, Monroe, Polk, Buchanan, Garfield, Carter

President's Day

How many of the six U.S. presidents named James can you name?

That was the question on our Cranium daily calendar. I named two. David named two. Sarah named one. Sarah's was one of mine. David's were completely different. I'll post the answer tomorrow.

President's Day means the kids are home from school, but David isn't home from work. It also means the library is closed, so I can't take the kids there. And there are precious few places to take kids in Utah in January that don't cost money. In the end, we were at home all day long, me alternately yelling at the kids and bribing them. (Note to self: Bribes work better.)

I started training for the "Little Red Riding Hood" bike ride. I've been worried because I injured my knee just over a week ago, and didn't know how riding a bike would impact it. Well, the range of motion needed to pedal a bike is fairly small, and I didn't hurt after I rode. (Stationary bikes are a necessity when there has been snow outside since the middle of December. I'm awfully glad I have one.)

One thing that still isn't good for my knee but I just can't seem to help: wearing high heels. I love wearing high heels! Both pairs of my boots are high heeled! And as much as I love my Skechers, I'm tired of wearing them. I even wore them to church...not this Sunday, but the Sunday before. I cannot believe I was that lady! You know. The one who wears tennis shoes to church. I had a really good reason, but still, it was so embarrassing. I have dang cute church shoes, but the heels are really high. Maybe that's why I think they are so cute.

Rehearsal last night was light years better than Saturday. For one thing, I didn't have a migraine. Secondly, we were singing all night (I almost typed sinning...David would not have been pleased about that!). Thirdly, Irving Berlin is brilliant!!!! I know this is the revised edition and someone named Peter Stone arranged the pieces, but I just love this music. When the chords are six or seven notes thick, with ninths and thirteenths spattered everywhere...that is my definition of heaven. *sigh* I may be uncertain about a lot of aspects of my performance ability, but singing parts is not one of them.

Last, but definitely not least, imagine how it would feel to come home from a fabulous rehearsal to find fresh, still slightly warm, chocolate chip cookies cooling on the counter. Sound like a pipe dream? It happened to me last night. Is everyone jealous?

Attitude is Everything

Smiles

If you chance to meet a frown

Do not let it stay

Quickly turn it upside down

And smile that frown away.

No one likes a frowning face.

Change it for a smile.

Make the world a better place

By smiling all the while

My attitude of late has left something to be desired. I need to change things, and soon. I've struggled with myself and my abilities lately, and I've let it show in the way I treat my family and friends. No more! Perhaps the best way to begin feeling better about myself is to paste a smile (Just brace up and smile) on my face and not let it go anywhere. Maybe I should be grateful for opportunities I've been given instead of analyzing why they came later than I think they should have. There is always the option of counting my blessings (instead of sheep) to help me see exactly what I've got (the sun in the morning and the moon at night). After all, I see blue skies (smiling at me) ahead, and a chance to find the happiness I seek (when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek). I am grateful to be in a show (There's no business like...) and I need to get over myself and enjoy it.

Quote for the day: Hooray for Irving Berlin!

Girls, girls, girls

Friday morning, around 5:00 a.m., Ella came into my bedroom and said, "Daddy! I'm tired!"

Saturday after rehearsal I had a nice chat with Cindy, who told me I could get pink extensions for my hair, even though I'm in a show and technically I'm not supposed to cut or color my hair. But, she said that she would call the hair and wig designer for the show and make sure it's okay with her. *grin*

I also saw Cat on Saturday, and something about following her around the theatre, doing laps as it were, makes other things seem less important.

Tammy was there, too! And she was so happy it was contagious! It's really great how Tammy just fits in these days. I think my circle of friends needed her.

Alyssa had a really great lesson Saturday afternoon. We've been concerned about all the songs she has to learn for school, but I think she's got them down. Still, we are having a couple more lessons before she has to perform them just to make sure.

Sarah lounged across my bed all afternoon watching "Gilmore Girls" with me. We saw the "Oi with the poodles already!" episode and had to try it out.

Sarah and I also watched certain parts of the wonderful BBC version of "Pride and Prejudice". If you have ever seen this movie, you know which parts. I then proceeded to tell her the story of my worst grade ever.

Kate called me back Saturday night. We had a really great chat that helped to lift some of my black mood. I especially liked the part where she body slammed a guy and scared the camera woman with her mad look.

Not a typical Saturday

How I felt before rehearsal yesterday. (!!!!!!!!)

How I felt after rehearsal yesterday. (AAUGH!)

But, after watching that video I'm feeling a lot better now.

My Newest Weakness

I love YouTube! And in the last couple of days I've spent way too much time there. In fact, just this morning I found a new clip, a kaleidoscope of fabulous performers, all singing songs of Richard Rodgers.

Hat Trick

I was going to try to be all clever about this, but I'm still just so excited that I don't think it's going to happen.

Last night, Mark Dietlein called me and asked if I would consider being part of the cast for "Annie Get Your Gun"!!!!!! I had auditioned for it, but apparently wasn't right for the show. It was okay, I was sad, but not overly so. Then this! I know that this means that someone else turned it down, and I didn't make the show on the first cut, so I have alot to prove. But I don't care! I get to do the show!

I was so calm on the phone, but the minute I hung up I started jumping up and down. Then the kids started cheering, and I felt so good. My family loves me! They support me in all these things I want to do. The kids are asking if they get to come see the show...of course!

I also called a few friends and other family members. Everyone was excited for me. No one tried to make me feel bad for any reason at all. I must be the luckiest person in the world to have such friends and family.

So, I audition for a show. I didn't get in. Five days after everyone else has been called the producer calls and asks if I'll do the show. The portion of the maneuver when I get called after everyone else because they are in a bind is called a "Seth Barney".

Yippee!!!

Sometimes

Sometimes you just need a little pick-me-up.


Click Me!!!


Or, if you prefer jazzed up versions...


Click Me, Too!


Then, let me know how you're feeling.

Happy Valentine's Day!

This is not my favorite holiday. It seems designed to make lonely people even lonelier, not lonely single people lonely, and people in relationships spend money. Have I left anything out?

It's not so bad now that I'm married, David did bring me flowers (which are beautiful!) and he always gets chocolates for the kids. I got him a box of chocolates, because life is like a box of chocolates, only he picked it up himself. Valentine's Day will never make my top ten list of favorties holidays, and here's a sampling of why...

1. I actually did have a Valentine in the sixth grade, or so I thought, but then I found out I wasn't so special, Jared gave great Valentines to all his friends.

2. I never officially had a Valentine again until I was married.

3. I did have a date on Valentine's Day once, but the idiot didn't ask me in advance, and then took me to dinner and a movie with my parents. Also, I found out later I wasn't the only girl he was dating at the time.

4. I got broken up with on Valentine's Day.

In response to all this merry-making, I started wearing black every February 14. It would have made a great statement, but I was a music major, and weaing all black just isn't that big of a deal. Everyone just thinks you have a concert.

Live

Carl Sandburg --

Stars, Songs, Faces


Gather the stars if you wish it so.
Gather the songs and keep them.
Gather the faces of women.
Gather for keeping years and years.
And then . . .

Loosen your hands, let go and say goodby.
Let the stars and songs go.
Let the faces and years go.
Loosen your hands and say goodbye.

Singing

Solace for the Heart
Nurture for the Soul
Heart and Soul
*grin*

Google Earth

Try Google Earth.

I saw the homes I lived in when we lived in the Philippines. I also saw the path to the beach where I lost Jon's fish because they jumped out of the bucket and walked away. (I kid you not!)

I saw the river where the sand bar crumbled and the undertow swept me away. Yes, I probably came very near to death by drowning that day, but truthfully I was more afraid of the sharks.

I saw the road that has my tooth next to it. Laffy Taffy, purchased at the commisary, will pull out loose teeth. I just didn't know it until I made it home. Oh well, the tooth fairy came just the same.

I saw the beach on the Capones where my family used to picnic. We would take the banca boats out to this tiny island and spend the day together.
(See the little boat? Locals would paddle people out to those two islands, for a price, of course. It was amazingly fun!)

Yes, I had a very interesting childhood.

Ella Marie Rogers

It makes sense, doesn't it, that I blog about Ella on her birthday. She is, after all, an incredibly bloggable girl. And today she turns four years old.

It has been an amazing four years, full of funny sayings and lots of spoilage, because face it, the youngest child it going to get spoiled. (Right Esther?) None of my other children got to go out to eat as often as Ella does. None of the other children had as many stuffed animals. None of the other children got as much mommy time. (It certainly helps that all the other children are in school.)

Ella's story is simple and straight forward, rather like she is. I started having labor pains the night of Feb. 9, 2004. I knew I was in labor, I had done it three times before. David took me to the hospital. This is all making sense, right? The nurse checked me, told me I wasn't in labor, gave me a shot of morphine, "for the pain" (she was the pain), with the side effect that "the shot will stop your labor if it's not real" (pain, pain, pain), and sent me home.

Okay, whatever.

David took me home, and because of the shot, the morphine and phenergin combination is my favorite, I fell asleep before we were even out of the parking lot. I slept pretty comfortably all night long, being drugged enough to ignore the labor pains still coursing through my body.

At six in the morning of February 10, 2004, the drugs started wearing off and David took me back to the hospital. The nurse was very surprised to see me there. She checked me again, "I guess you were in labor!" DUH!!! and Ella was born before lunch service.



That's the end of the story. A child who knows what she wants and just does it. And so I have Ella. Aren't I the lucky one?

Staid

In trying to find my way, I need to remember to focus on what is really important. And because I believe Robert Frost said it better than I could ever hope to, I'll quote him here.

Choose Something Like a Star
by Robert Frost - 1947

O Star (the fairest one in sight),
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obscurity of cloud --
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.

Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.

It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.

Benjamin Marcel Rogers

Happy Birthday!

Ten years ago this very day, at about 2:00 in the morning, Benjamin Marcel Rogers made his very first appearance. It actually started two days earlier...




Friday, Feb. 6, am. I began having labor pains. Not really bad ones, but regular enough that I thought I should go into the hospital and get checked. David took me in, the nurse checked me...nope. Not enough to stay, so they sent me home.

Friday, Feb. 6, pm. No labor pains, just bleeding. I went to the hospital, they observed me for an hour, got me to calm down and sent me home.

Saturday, Feb. 7, am. I wasn't feeling too good, but the pains I was having weren't close enough together, or regular enough for that matter to be labor. I taught lessons. I timed my contractions. Breathing with voice students is a great way to get through pains. I took a nap, the pains stopped.




Saturday, Feb. 7, pm. David, Sarah and I had dinner at Grandma Rogers house. Apparently, she knew more about labor than I did, because she watched me all through dinner and was convinced that I was in labor. I still wouldn't believe it. After all, contractions are supposed to get regular and closer together. All day long, I'd been having contractions, rather painful ones, but never closer than 10 minutes together, and never regular at all. 10 minutes, 12 minutes, 25 minutes, 15 minutes, even one stretch that lasted 2 hours. This is no way to labor.

Saturday, Feb. 7, late!! I'm home again, and trying to go to sleep, but the pain just won't leave me alone. David is trying to convince me to go to the hospital and I won't. "I will not go three times in two days!" This is my battle cry. But soon, the pain is more than I can bear, and I'm crying for real. David calls the nurses station and they tell him, "If she's in that much pain, you'd better bring her in."

Saturday, Feb. 7, EVEN LATER!! David takes me to the hospital, I'm having contractions the entire time, but never closer than 10 minutes...still. That is, until we arrive in the hospital parking lot. 10 minutes, 12 minutes, 12 minutes, 10 minutes...2 minutes, 2 minutes...I can barely walk into the building. The nurse checks me and I'm positive she's going to tell me it's all in my head and send me home but, no! I'm an 8! I say, "Does this mean I can stay?" And then I burst into tears.

Sunday, Feb. 8, somewhere around 2:00 a.m. Benjamin Marcel Rogers was born.

Of course I've left out a lot of gory details...I thought there was sufficient gore as it is. The point is, I've got a great kid! And I've had him for ten years this very day!

Better

My first callback this week was on Monday. I went, I sat, I sang, I blew chunks, I didn't get to read, I went home and felt terrible about it. The tension in the room was nearly palpable. All these women and men, so anxious about this show. What I didn't understand until Wednesday was that Monday was the callback only for the leads, not for the ensemble. In other words, I got a callback for a lead! What were they thinking?!

Last night was so much better. I went, I sat, I danced, I sang, I got to sing alto, I didn't blow chunks, I chatted with people I know, I went home and felt wonderful about it. I met some new people, some really nice new people, and I'm thinking how much fun it would be to do a show with them. I ran into some old friends, and I'm thinking how much fun it would be to do a show with them, too. I know that not everybody that was at the callback can make the show, but suddenly, I'm hopeful again.

I cried Monday night. All day Tuesday and Wednesday I had this attitude of apathy toward this show. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism thrown up in response to what I viewed as a really terrible audition. Maybe it was a lack of energy due to the cold I've been fighting and the flu going around my family. I don't know for sure what it was, but it's gone now.

Whatever the outcome, I'll be okay. I really want to do this show, and I know I put up a good audition last night, so I'm feeling good about it. If I don't make it, well, it means they had something else in mind. But enough of that! It's time for the power of positive thinking!

Alligators

From as young as I can remember until sometime after I was married, I had this recurring nightmare about alligators. I would be running through a jungle (I didn't always live in Utah, I lived in the Phillipines for awhile, so I know what a jungle looks like) sometimes being chased by carnivorous natives (the kind from Bugs Bunny that would have put me in a great big pot) sometimes not, but always being driven toward a gully that was full of alligators. I knew I could escape the natives, they were after all, animated, but the alligators always freaked me out. Even as a child, I was fortunate enough to be able to control certain aspects of my dreams. I almost always knew when I was dreaming (the alligators were a dead giveaway), I could create a cliff, and if I could get to the cliff, I could jump off and fly (I loved when I could fly!). And if that didn't work, I could wake myself up. The alligators never got me.

I never did like alligators. Even now, when I go to the zoo, I avoid the alligator enclosure. I'll send my kids through with David, and I will wait for them outside. Every one is allowed to have strange and bizarrae, non-harmful behaviors. Right?

A few years back, my family had all gathered for our weekly dinner at Mom's house and we started swapping stories. "Remember the time we did...?" "Remember this?" was the basis of our conversation that might. A story was told about when we went to Okeyfenokee Swamp. I wasn't very old, maybe four(?) years old, just about the same age Ella is now. My Dad wanted to take a picture of me by the water. He had a great camera and was always taking pictures of things. He sent me over by the water, warning me to watch out for alligators. I, being the dutiful daughter that I am, did exactly what he asked me to. Suddenly he yelled at me, "An alligator's coming! Run!" I freaked out and ran... It was a joke.

Do you see the connection? I didn't see it until I was more that 30 years old. More than 20 years of nightmares, and a refusal to ever see an alligator (except the white one, he was cool). I wonder what sort of nightmares I'm giving my kids.

The moral of this story is: We don't mean to damage our children, or in other words, never smile at a crocodile.

Ella Sings

One morning, before my latest audition, I was getting ready to take Ella to school and I could hear her start singing. She was sitting on the floor at the foot of my bed singing "The Lady is a Tramp". I know how she learned that one, it's my audition song. But hearing a nearly four year old sing that song made me laugh (inside! I wouldn't disturb her singing by laughing out loud!).

Later that same morning, on the way to preschool, I hear Ella singing in the back seat of the van. "All I need is one more try, Gotta get that kite to fly, And I'm not the kind of guy who gives up easily..." This is the hardest phrase in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" and she got it pitch perfect. So when she went on, "Wonder why they stop and say," I filled in for her with "You're a good man, Charlie Brown!" She then sang, "Never liked me anyway". And me, "You're a good man, Charlie Brown!" It was a duet!

After school, I heard her again. This time she had turned on my digital piano, I'm assuming to provide accompaniment for herself, and started singing the "Hallelujah Chorus". What am I going to do with this child?

A Thank You

I don't remember exactly when it was. I know we were in Utah already, my parents family room is very clear to me. I know that President Monson was not in the First Presidency yet, he was still Elder Monson. Somewhere between the time my family moved to Utah and President Monson was called as a councilor is when I would place this memory.

My father and I were watching General Conference. I'm sure other members of my family were there, after all, we always watched Conference together. Elder Monson got up to speak and my dad turns to me and said, "That man is going to be the Prophet some day."

Every time I've seen President Monson speak since that day I've thought that thought, "That man is going to be the Prophet some day."

Thanks, Dad.

not right now

I slept in. Church starts in 90 minutes. The kids aren't awake yet. I'm not certain Joshua got a shower last night. It's snowing like mad. I'll have to get back to my blog later.

Today's real post

I got a callback! I've been so worried about it the last little while that I haven't even wanted to think about what I would do if I didn't. This, of course, does not guarantee that I'll make the show, but I am now officially one step closer.

Cat sat with me while I waited my turn. Then she waited through my turn and with me until I heard the magic words announcing my callback. So, not only is she an expert audition fashion consultant, she's also a fabulous stalker. Just kidding. What she is is a fabulous friend.

Kate waited with me as well. Only, she waited at home, connected to us as the theatre through the miracle that is the cell phone. She is currently suffering from a migraine and trying to get ready for her own audition. I am sending all my positive thoughts her way. If any of you readers want to do the same, I am certain she'll appreciate it.

Crystal got me through the hour this morning between the time I was ready to leave, and the time I actually left. I don't know what I would do without my friends who are all so supportive.

Lastly, my family has been nothing but positive about this whole thing. They prayed with me this morning. They always cheer me on. Without their support I could do none of this, and I hope they know that. And when I come home with the news that I got a callback, they are as excited as I am.

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of this journey. Hopefully, it's just beginning!

Bad Jokes

These are my favorites, but they are terrible! Brace yourself!

What do you call a cow with only three legs?

Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef

Why does a cow have legs in the first place?

To prevent it's udder destruction.

What's green and red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

What's green and red and brown and goes round and round?

Same frog, a week later.

What happens if you drink it?

You croak.

Sorry...

Creativity

Creativity is contagious.

I've been composing a new piece every week. I finished one, but couldn't come up with a title and decided that asking my family what they thought it should be called would be a good idea. Well, it was a good idea, but it also had some unexpected side effects.

Everyone got into the spirit of the "naming", asking me to play the piece for them, telling me what it reminded them of, and hoping to win the donut. They all started thinking creatively.

On Sunday, when I was sitting down to work on a new piece, Sarah planted herself at the digital piano downstairs and started composing a very nice piano piece herself. Ben sat down at the organ, which is right behind the grand piano, turned it all the way up, and started making up a new piece for organ. Joshua, who didn't have a keyboard to sit down at, hovered around me, asking all sorts of questions, until he decided to sit on the couch and draw video game illustrations. This lasted until I couldn't hear myself think, much less the piano, and gave up composing for the day, at which point Joshua took over the grand piano and started playing around with melodies and the like.

My composing time got interrupted, but I was not upset. How could I be? My three older children were all thinking creatively, and doing something with those thoughts. I love that they are willing to try to express themselves in different ways. I hope that I will always encourage them in their creative pursuits. I really love that they are all so excited to share these meanderings into creativity with me.

I was linking off of Kate's blog to all of her friends and found this great link that made me wonder if perhaps I shouldn't try a song this week instead of a piano piece. Take a minute, or nearly four, and listen to it. See if it can inspire you to be creative today. Share your creativity with those that mean the most to you. Maybe they'll be inspired, too.

Today I'm going to try something old, composing a song, something new, cooking a new dessert, something borrowed, free time for myself (I borrow it from my children), and something blue, maybe just blue jeans. I'm going to tap into my creativity and see what happens.