Better

My first callback this week was on Monday. I went, I sat, I sang, I blew chunks, I didn't get to read, I went home and felt terrible about it. The tension in the room was nearly palpable. All these women and men, so anxious about this show. What I didn't understand until Wednesday was that Monday was the callback only for the leads, not for the ensemble. In other words, I got a callback for a lead! What were they thinking?!

Last night was so much better. I went, I sat, I danced, I sang, I got to sing alto, I didn't blow chunks, I chatted with people I know, I went home and felt wonderful about it. I met some new people, some really nice new people, and I'm thinking how much fun it would be to do a show with them. I ran into some old friends, and I'm thinking how much fun it would be to do a show with them, too. I know that not everybody that was at the callback can make the show, but suddenly, I'm hopeful again.

I cried Monday night. All day Tuesday and Wednesday I had this attitude of apathy toward this show. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism thrown up in response to what I viewed as a really terrible audition. Maybe it was a lack of energy due to the cold I've been fighting and the flu going around my family. I don't know for sure what it was, but it's gone now.

Whatever the outcome, I'll be okay. I really want to do this show, and I know I put up a good audition last night, so I'm feeling good about it. If I don't make it, well, it means they had something else in mind. But enough of that! It's time for the power of positive thinking!