Live

Carl Sandburg --

Stars, Songs, Faces


Gather the stars if you wish it so.
Gather the songs and keep them.
Gather the faces of women.
Gather for keeping years and years.
And then . . .

Loosen your hands, let go and say goodby.
Let the stars and songs go.
Let the faces and years go.
Loosen your hands and say goodbye.

Singing

Solace for the Heart
Nurture for the Soul
Heart and Soul
*grin*

Google Earth

Try Google Earth.

I saw the homes I lived in when we lived in the Philippines. I also saw the path to the beach where I lost Jon's fish because they jumped out of the bucket and walked away. (I kid you not!)

I saw the river where the sand bar crumbled and the undertow swept me away. Yes, I probably came very near to death by drowning that day, but truthfully I was more afraid of the sharks.

I saw the road that has my tooth next to it. Laffy Taffy, purchased at the commisary, will pull out loose teeth. I just didn't know it until I made it home. Oh well, the tooth fairy came just the same.

I saw the beach on the Capones where my family used to picnic. We would take the banca boats out to this tiny island and spend the day together.
(See the little boat? Locals would paddle people out to those two islands, for a price, of course. It was amazingly fun!)

Yes, I had a very interesting childhood.

Ella Marie Rogers

It makes sense, doesn't it, that I blog about Ella on her birthday. She is, after all, an incredibly bloggable girl. And today she turns four years old.

It has been an amazing four years, full of funny sayings and lots of spoilage, because face it, the youngest child it going to get spoiled. (Right Esther?) None of my other children got to go out to eat as often as Ella does. None of the other children had as many stuffed animals. None of the other children got as much mommy time. (It certainly helps that all the other children are in school.)

Ella's story is simple and straight forward, rather like she is. I started having labor pains the night of Feb. 9, 2004. I knew I was in labor, I had done it three times before. David took me to the hospital. This is all making sense, right? The nurse checked me, told me I wasn't in labor, gave me a shot of morphine, "for the pain" (she was the pain), with the side effect that "the shot will stop your labor if it's not real" (pain, pain, pain), and sent me home.

Okay, whatever.

David took me home, and because of the shot, the morphine and phenergin combination is my favorite, I fell asleep before we were even out of the parking lot. I slept pretty comfortably all night long, being drugged enough to ignore the labor pains still coursing through my body.

At six in the morning of February 10, 2004, the drugs started wearing off and David took me back to the hospital. The nurse was very surprised to see me there. She checked me again, "I guess you were in labor!" DUH!!! and Ella was born before lunch service.



That's the end of the story. A child who knows what she wants and just does it. And so I have Ella. Aren't I the lucky one?

Staid

In trying to find my way, I need to remember to focus on what is really important. And because I believe Robert Frost said it better than I could ever hope to, I'll quote him here.

Choose Something Like a Star
by Robert Frost - 1947

O Star (the fairest one in sight),
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obscurity of cloud --
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.

Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.

It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.

Benjamin Marcel Rogers

Happy Birthday!

Ten years ago this very day, at about 2:00 in the morning, Benjamin Marcel Rogers made his very first appearance. It actually started two days earlier...




Friday, Feb. 6, am. I began having labor pains. Not really bad ones, but regular enough that I thought I should go into the hospital and get checked. David took me in, the nurse checked me...nope. Not enough to stay, so they sent me home.

Friday, Feb. 6, pm. No labor pains, just bleeding. I went to the hospital, they observed me for an hour, got me to calm down and sent me home.

Saturday, Feb. 7, am. I wasn't feeling too good, but the pains I was having weren't close enough together, or regular enough for that matter to be labor. I taught lessons. I timed my contractions. Breathing with voice students is a great way to get through pains. I took a nap, the pains stopped.




Saturday, Feb. 7, pm. David, Sarah and I had dinner at Grandma Rogers house. Apparently, she knew more about labor than I did, because she watched me all through dinner and was convinced that I was in labor. I still wouldn't believe it. After all, contractions are supposed to get regular and closer together. All day long, I'd been having contractions, rather painful ones, but never closer than 10 minutes together, and never regular at all. 10 minutes, 12 minutes, 25 minutes, 15 minutes, even one stretch that lasted 2 hours. This is no way to labor.

Saturday, Feb. 7, late!! I'm home again, and trying to go to sleep, but the pain just won't leave me alone. David is trying to convince me to go to the hospital and I won't. "I will not go three times in two days!" This is my battle cry. But soon, the pain is more than I can bear, and I'm crying for real. David calls the nurses station and they tell him, "If she's in that much pain, you'd better bring her in."

Saturday, Feb. 7, EVEN LATER!! David takes me to the hospital, I'm having contractions the entire time, but never closer than 10 minutes...still. That is, until we arrive in the hospital parking lot. 10 minutes, 12 minutes, 12 minutes, 10 minutes...2 minutes, 2 minutes...I can barely walk into the building. The nurse checks me and I'm positive she's going to tell me it's all in my head and send me home but, no! I'm an 8! I say, "Does this mean I can stay?" And then I burst into tears.

Sunday, Feb. 8, somewhere around 2:00 a.m. Benjamin Marcel Rogers was born.

Of course I've left out a lot of gory details...I thought there was sufficient gore as it is. The point is, I've got a great kid! And I've had him for ten years this very day!

Better

My first callback this week was on Monday. I went, I sat, I sang, I blew chunks, I didn't get to read, I went home and felt terrible about it. The tension in the room was nearly palpable. All these women and men, so anxious about this show. What I didn't understand until Wednesday was that Monday was the callback only for the leads, not for the ensemble. In other words, I got a callback for a lead! What were they thinking?!

Last night was so much better. I went, I sat, I danced, I sang, I got to sing alto, I didn't blow chunks, I chatted with people I know, I went home and felt wonderful about it. I met some new people, some really nice new people, and I'm thinking how much fun it would be to do a show with them. I ran into some old friends, and I'm thinking how much fun it would be to do a show with them, too. I know that not everybody that was at the callback can make the show, but suddenly, I'm hopeful again.

I cried Monday night. All day Tuesday and Wednesday I had this attitude of apathy toward this show. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism thrown up in response to what I viewed as a really terrible audition. Maybe it was a lack of energy due to the cold I've been fighting and the flu going around my family. I don't know for sure what it was, but it's gone now.

Whatever the outcome, I'll be okay. I really want to do this show, and I know I put up a good audition last night, so I'm feeling good about it. If I don't make it, well, it means they had something else in mind. But enough of that! It's time for the power of positive thinking!